Friday, December 21, 2007

Err...Feelin abit lost. Not geographically, but psychologically. Is it normal for someone my age to feel lost? Somehow i dont knw e reason i'm here in this planet. I want to aim high and achieve it but somehow or rather, there would be another voice counteracting this, sayin, "wats the point?"

Is it manadatory for people to do things they dont like to do jus so they can move up? I personally dont like regimentation. I prefer to think that i can discipline myself. But i'm in a career that regimentation rules all. I prefer efficiency, get to a place in the shortest time, finish e job with e least manpower-hours, accomplish tasks with e least energy wasted. I feel great satisfaction whn i can accomplish more tasks today thn i could yesterday. I wouldnt want to be travelling a longer way, having more people to do the same task like checkin and re-checking & having to run from places to places whn a phone call would suffice. Somehow, i feel that i'm in e wrong environment.

I dont knw hows the world outside e one i'm currently in is like. I tend to think that the grass is greener out there. And, i cannot ask and seek the truth from others and would only tell that by me stepping out myself. There r ppl out thr like my parents and a close friend of mine, who would 'complain' abt work, abt injustice, abt gossiping, abt backstabbin, abt bootlicking, abt un-appreciation. My dad told me that workin life is like tat, everywhere u go is e same, tat being w e government is gd cos thr is a 'iron' bowl & he encourages me to stay on at my job. But somehow, i dont feel so gd abt it. True tat its 'iron' cos i couldnt leave, tat thr are medical benefits and bonuses tat surpass those of e commercial sector, but is tat all to life? to personal satisfaction? I dont want to be in a job that e only things tat i look forward to are the bonuses and seeing the company Doctor.

I often dreamt/visualise myself working for Volkswagen Group, to work as one of the technicians, thn an engineer, thn a designer, thn to finally see the car with my name on it. And i nv wanted to create the best cars, fastest cars, most expensive cars, but the most economical, most efficient and most user-friendly. But, its a tall order to ask for. There are many 'excuses' that tat dream would fail. Thinking, 'i would rather jus be an aviation engineer in SIA'.

There are countless sayings that 'you are wat u choose to be', 'its your attitude that matters', 'no matter wat e situation, its ur mind tat determines its success'. So does tat mean tat with e rite attitude, i can learn and begin to like my current job? Tat if i choose to succeed, i would? Wat abt following your dreams?

My BaBy DiNo
(( 1:00 PM ))

[[ Dont ].[ Quit ]]

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit...